What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize