I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
