I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
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