It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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