Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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