i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize