fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
