btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
