Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
