Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Dear god my vagina.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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