Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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