Kareoke will never be a sober sport
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
