i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
