I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
