is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
