problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
