Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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