Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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