sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
