i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You're like the curious george of whores
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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