Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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