Tell her she can't have a vagina
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
