Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize