You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm passing your future prison.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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