Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
