i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
