We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
