Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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