is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
