I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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