I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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