Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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