apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
