So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
