I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He shit in the fireplace
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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