why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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