By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
