do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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