I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Randomize
