Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize