i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
She announced her abortion via fbk
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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