Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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