can we get nightvision for the apartment?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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