I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
