UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I am mentally ready for anal.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
