its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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