I am spending my child support on dildos
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
dude. I can hear the air.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
