apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
