as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
