so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My liver is preforming stress tests.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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