how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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