dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I believe in your delicious
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
