One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
