seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize