I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
