it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
