Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
