and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
