Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
dude. I can hear the air.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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