i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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