Whoa Z and x make the same sound
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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