I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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