NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
