Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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