people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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