Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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