First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
